I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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