But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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