I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Someone signed my nipple.
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