so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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