It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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