Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize