I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize