Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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