It's Friday. Sex?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
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Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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