Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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