Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's shark week go big or go home
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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