I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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