just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize