his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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