break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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