We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The adults are the big ones right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
tell me about the eggs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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