my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Everclear isn't food dammit
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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