i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize