Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am naked and annoyed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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