I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize