I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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