You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize