I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize