I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize