After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
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I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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