How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So vagazzling was a success
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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