She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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