Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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