handjob tips. give me some.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
false alarm, still single
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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