Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize