So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize