If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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