This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
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You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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