Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize