she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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