Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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