i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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