I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
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I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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