You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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