I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize