Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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