wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize