He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's never too late to be topless.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sext me about skeletons
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize