you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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