Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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