i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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