apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize