I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize