Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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