I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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