he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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